


Please Don’t Say Goodbye

by aegicheezu



Category: K-pop, SHINee
Genre: Angst, Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Implied Sexual Content, Jinki is a top, Jonghyun Is The Moon, Jongyu, M/M, Mourning, Mutual Pining, OnHo - Freeform, OnKey, OnTae, Pining, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 09:26:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16851466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aegicheezu/pseuds/aegicheezu
Summary: Everyone knew it was coming, but no one wanted to believe it – the date for Jinki’s military service enlistment looming in the fast-approaching distance, he spends time with his beloved members and they make memories to help them last.





	1. Key

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for always reading and supporting my work. This fic has been on my mind for a long time; how will Jinki say goodbye to his beloved members before he goes away to the army? How would they say goodbye to him? Also, please note that the last chapter is about Jonghyun. So, if you would rather skip that one, it's alright.

“Jinki-hyung, come in, come in,” Kibum wrapped his arms around his leader’s neck and pulled him in for a hug as he ushered the older man into his apartment, his dogs happily bouncing around their legs in greeting.

 

“Hello, Comme Des,” Jinki laughed softly, his voice smooth. “Hello, Garçons,” he reached down to pat the dogs and let them playfully kiss his hands. He looked back up at Kibum, surprised to see him surveying the scene with a faraway look in his eye. “Hello to you too, Kibummie,” he straightened his back and ran a hand through his hair, suddenly bashful. He sniffed the air. “It smells good,” he noted, “have you been cooking?” He slipped his shoes off at last and tugged a little on Kibum’s shirt.

 

“Yeah,” he replied, allowing his leader to gently drag him into the apartment by his shirt hem. “I thought I’d make your favourite meal,” he went to the fridge and retrieved two bottles of peach soju. “You know, just a little home-cooking before you’re faced with army-base stew every day.”

 

The boys laughed. The moon hung in the sky, surveying the scene, and shone through the kitchen windows. Jinki’s eyes softened to see how Kibum’s kitchen seemed to have been though an ordeal, trying to make his favourite – fried chicken. He was touched; unthinkingly, Jinki pulled Kibum close and kissed his cheek. “Thank you,” he smiled. “For always working so hard.”

 

Kibum’s bashfulness at last seemed to melt away at the feeling of the older man’s lips against his skin. “Jinki-ah, why do you have to go?” he asked plaintively, tightening his grip on his waist. “Why can’t we all just stay together?”

 

Jinki took Kibum’s face in his hands, thumbs gently stroking the soft skin on his pale cheeks. He kissed Kibum’s lips slowly, and pressed their foreheads together. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice honest. “I’m sorry I have to go.” He sighed, and wrapped his arms around the other man’s frame, feeling how desperately Kibum clung to him. “But I’m here now, Kibummie. I’m right here. And you’re here, too,” he smiled a little, and ruffled Kibum’s hair. “Won’t you make some memories with me tonight?” he kissed the younger man slowly, and looked into his eyes. “Make some memories with me, Kibummie,” he repeated, slowly backing Kibum against the kitchen counter and pressing their hips together, a soft moan escaping his lips.

 

“Hyung…” Kibum breathed, hands in his leader’s hair, rolling his hips into his. “Your dinner will get cold…” he gently bit at Jinki’s lower lip.

 

“I don’t care…” Jinki growled hungrily, “Kibummie… I love you,” he leaned in and whispered in his ear, “Make some memories with me…”

 

“I love you more,” Kibum gave in at last, his body like melted chocolate in his leader’s hands. The moon looked on, illuminating their bodies in the still night.


	2. Minho

“When will you be able to write and receive mail?” Minho asked for what must have been the hundredth time. Jinki’s head rested in his lap as they lay on the couch, lazily flipping through the channels, unable to decide what program to watch. Not that they were that invested in watching television, anyway. Minho absent-mindedly ran his fingers through Jinki’s hair.

 

“After training,” Jinki answered again, knowing that Minho would probably ask the same question again in an hour or so. He turned a little in Minho’s lap so that he faced him better. “You know that as soon as I’m able to, I’ll call.” He smiled up at Minho. “So please don’t worry.”

 

Minho sighed. “Still,” he sighed, clearly unsatisfied. “I wish it wasn’t so strict.” He continued to stroke Jinki’s hair. “Our poor shawols will be so upset when they see your military photo, your beautiful hair all gone,” he couldn’t help but smile a little at that. He ran a hand through his own hair, buzzed short. “They absolutely lost it when a photo of my buzzcut leaked.”

 

That made Jinki smile. “I’m so glad that they supported the album,” he said softly. “I’m so glad they accepted my gift to them.”

 

Minho’s eyes turned soft, and he pulled Jinki up by his shirt into a chaste kiss. “Of course they did, silly,” he shook his head and kissed Jinki’s nose. “Don’t you know how much everyone loves you?” He ruffled Jinki’s hair.

 

Jinki sat up on the couch and rested his head against Minho’s shoulder. “What about you, Minho?” He teased, poking his cheek. “Do you love me, too?”

 

Minho laughed, jokingly bumping shoulders with his leader. “How can you even ask that as a joke after so many years, hyung? Of course I love you,” he took Jinki’s chin in his hand and pulled him in for a kiss, emphasizing his conviction. He smiled against Jinki’s lips. “I’ve loved you for over ten years, just like you’ve loved me.”

 

Jinki grinned. “That’s right,” he confirmed, voice rich and sonorous. “I have loved you for over ten years now,” he kissed Minho again. “And I will love you for the rest of my life,” he wrapped his arms around Minho’s neck, breathing in the scent of his cologne. “Promise me you won’t miss me while I’m gone.”

 

Minho was puzzled by the remark. “Why can’t I miss you? That’s not fair…” he asked, nose scrunched in a questioning face. Jinki sighed, taking Minho’s hand in his and lacing their fingers together. He looked past Minho for a moment to see the pretty moon, peaking through the edge of the window. He smiled.

 

“Because, my love,” he kissed Minho’s forehead. “I’m coming back,” he said at last. “I will always come back here. I will always come home to you.” He looked into Minho’s wide, brown eyes, grown wider with understanding. “So, please don’t miss me.”

 

“Jinki-ah, I can’t promise you that,” Minho smiled back, kissing his leader’s cheek. “You’re asking me to sleep alone for two years. How can I not miss you?” Though he knew Jinki’s enlistment was inevitable – as were all of theirs, coming soon after – his tone was still a little bitter, and he felt bad for it.

 

Jinki understood Minho’s heart better than anyone else; he drew the other man close and kissed the top of his head. “I’ll be back before you know it,” he reassured him. “And we will make up for all the nights you had to spend alone.”

 

Minho’s eyes softened and he melted into Jinki’s embrace. He whispered into the other man’s ear, “let’s start now, Jinki-ah,” and ran a careful hand along the waistband of his sweatpants. “I want to burn the memory of your skin on mine into my heart.”


	3. Taemin

The kitchen counter had not been cleared of the remnants of their dinner; the table still laid with their dishes. But the boys weren’t in the kitchen; the moon looked on from the window, curious.

 

Jinki rested his back against Taemin’s closed bedroom door. “Come out, baby, please,” he called sweetly. Taemin had stormed off and closed the door behind him in a petulant burst after dinner, Jinki having said – what did he say? – something that upset him. “Come out, baby,” Jinki repeated, patiently. He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m so sorry that I upset you.” He waited a few more seconds, listening to the familiar sounds of Taemin rolling off the bed and shuffling to the door. Jinki moved away from the door to avoid being knocked over, and turned to face Taemin, who opened the door at last.

 

“Come here,” he outstretched his arms, and Taemin fell into them. The older man held him close, stroking his bare back. “I’m sorry, baby.”

 

“I don’t want you to go,” Taemin said at last, cursing how childish he was being. But he could not help it; and he didn’t know how to be grown-up about this. His leader was leaving for the army, and he didn’t want him to go. “Jinki-hyung…” he clung to the soft fabric of Jinki’s sweater, unwilling to let go. “I’m sorry I ran off. I wanted to be mad at you for leaving… but I’m just sad.”

 

Jinki kissed Taemin’s forehead. “I know, baby. I know.”

 

“Forgive me?” Taemin looked up at the older man with wide eyes.

 

“Always,” Jinki replied. Taemin kissed him then, his soft lips desperate against Jinki’s. He hoped that his beloved leader could understand exactly how he felt, his feelings flowing through their lips.

 

Jinki stroked his maknae’s hair and coaxed him into the bedroom; he sat the younger man down on the bed and knelt before him. “My pretty Taeminnie,” he smiled, looking up at him; the moon shone through half-closed curtains, the cool beams dancing on their skin. “I will call you and write to you as often as I’m allowed,” he tried to comfort him. “Please, won’t you smile for me?”

 

Taemin’s eyes filled with tears for the hundredth time that evening. “Jinki-hyung,” he threw his arms around the older man’s neck and sobbed into his shoulder. “What am I supposed to do without you?” his shoulders shook. “Don’t make me say goodbye to you, I can’t do it. I just can’t.” Taemin felt his chest constrict, and he tightened his grip on his leader.

 

“Oh… my precious boy,” Jinki cooed into his ear, stroking his hair. “Please, please don’t cry,” he felt his own eyes fill with tears, and for once, he decided to let them fall. “You are the one I can’t bear to say goodbye to the most, baby,” he said honestly. “Please,” he took Taemin’s face in his hands and wiped the other man’s tears away with his sleeve. “Please kiss me, Taeminnie.” He looked into Taemin’s eyes, his maknae seeing the desperate desire flashing in deep caramel pools.

 

Taemin did as he was told; their bodies rushed together like waves crashing on the shoreline.

 


	4. Jonghyun

Jinki poured a glass of champagne and set it carefully against the cool, smooth granite. The December air was cold, but he refused to let it bother him. He buried his face in his scarf, and removed a glove before lovingly, reverently, tracing the characters of the name on the stone.

 

“My beautiful boy,” Jinki whispered, his breath curling into white puffs floating in the air. “I’m leaving for the army tomorrow, Jjongie. But you knew that, didn’t you?” He managed a little smile. “Look how beautiful you are tonight,” he looked at the moon, shining and round. “Thank you for continuing to watch over me and the others, baby. We miss you every day,” tears began to fall, running silently down his cheeks.

 

“I think about you every day. I remember your lips on mine, and it makes me smile for a moment, before I remember that you’re in heaven now. For a long time, I wanted to join you, Jonghyun. I wanted so desperately to be with you again, I would have done anything.” He caressed the top of the headstone as delicately as if it were Jonghyun’s soft hair. “But we have to continue on. Every day hurts, Jjongie. It hurts so much; but I have to live on, every day. It’s my job to take care of the members until the day we can all be together again. Do you forgive me, baby? For not joining you, yet?” Jinki sighed, and looked up at the moon again. “Please, forgive me.” His shoulders shook with gentle sobs.

 

“While I am away for my military service, can I ask you a favour?” He sniffled, trying to compose himself. “Please, look after us. Make Kibum’s solo activities go well. Keep Minho safe while he is filming; and please… visit Taeminnie in his dreams, won’t you?” He smiled a little. “He misses you more than anyone. Please visit him soon.” Jinki stepped back a little and looked the grave up and down, straightening up the flowers that seem to have been freshly laid there. He swept away the snow that had begun to gather on the ledge, and sat down again. He took a sip of his own glass of champagne, and clinked it against the still-full glass he’d poured for his beloved.

 

“I love you, Jonghyunnie,” Jinki said at last. “Promise me you still love me, too.”

 

Keeping his eyes fixed on the moon, he watched as a shooting star flew across the sky; his lips curled into a smile. “Thank you, baby.”


End file.
